


An Angelus Ploro - 2/3

by Deans_Fetish



Series: Angel Trilogy [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blasphemy, Loss, M/M, Male Slash, Schmoop, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:31:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: ‘There's no time for us, there's no place for us…What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us? Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever? There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us; this world has only one sweet moment set aside for us…So touch my tears with your lips, touch my world with your fingertips, and we can have forever, and we can have forever; forever is our today. Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever? Forever is our today; who waits forever anyway?’





	

**Author's Note:**

> This summary is lyrics from the ‘ ** _Queen_** ’ song, ‘ ** _Who Wants To Live Forever?_** ’ from which this final fic was inspired. This is an AU and otherworldly finale to the series of Angel/Human/J2 ficlets including, **_‘Mors Mortis Hymn’_** & **_‘Ploratio of an angelus’_**.

Jensen’s brow furrowed in a frown, “No one else seemed to be around, and I found that odd,” he licked his lips, “I mean, it was Heaven, ya know?” 

Jared nodded, silently answering, afraid that if he said anything Jensen might not keep going. 

“So, I asked him about it, I wanted to know where everyone was,” he shrugged a shoulder slightly, “would’a been kinda nice to see my Grams,” he swallowed and Jared squeezed him a little tighter. 

Jensen sighed softly, “Apparently where we were others couldn’t be, it was too close to the throne of God, he said, said that they would burst into flame or some damn thing… I asked how it was I could be there… he said I was different because I was alive… and because I was there with him, that he wouldn’t let harm come to me,” Jensen huffed softly before muttering softly under his breath, “bastard.”

Jared raised their joined hands to his lips, kissing Jensen’s knuckles softly, “S’okay,” he whispered softly. 

Jensen’s eyes flickered upward to Jared’s profile, before lowering again, watching as Jared allowed their hands to return to their former position against his chest. 

“He told me that even with all that I couldn’t stay there long unless he gave me wings,” Jensen shook his head where it lay against Jared’s shoulder, “I didn’t know what that meant, but it didn’t sound very good, I mean, if I got wings, what the hell did that make me, how was he gonna do it, ya know?” 

Jared nodded, “Mm-hm, I know,” he answered softly, the millions of questions he had about Heaven taking a definite backseat to whatever it was that Jensen had been through.

Jensen’s face contorted with bitterness, “The bastards answer was to pull me into his cottage, slam me back against a wall and stick his tongue down my throat…and when I fought him he asked me if I would rather be burned than marry him,” he huffed softly, his eyes closing.

Jared’s lips parted, his eyes widening just slightly as he held onto Jensen a little tighter, turning his head again he kissed Jensen’s temple, nuzzling his nose against his skin there. 

“Apparently come to find out, ‘marrying’ to an angel is code for getting fucked,” Jensen spat disgustedly as he opened his eyes, “when I refused, he said he would kill you… slowly…painfully…” he shook his head, eyes lowering, “I let him, I told him that he could do what he wanted as long as he didn’t hurt you,” Jensen swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, “he got rougher after that…” his lips quirked into a bitter smile, “I guess my worrying about you pissed him off or something.” He shrugged a shoulder. 

“He got my pants down and,” Jensen gave an almost crazed chuckle, “I couldn’t help thinking, even as he was touching me, how funny it was because my boots were still on,” his hand tightened it’s grasp on Jared’s, “I guess I thought I was safe, because my boots were on,” he huffed and shook his head slightly, “so stupid…” he whispered. 

Jared forced himself to swallow back his anger at the angel who had touched what was his, to unclench his teeth and swallow hard, force his voice to work and sound somewhat composed, “Wasn’t stupid,” he argued softly, his thumb sliding over Jensen’s knuckles soothingly.

Jensen’s brow quirked, but he didn’t argue, only sighed softly, licking his lips, “He tried to tell me that he could love me better than you could,” he shook his head, “I told him he was crazy,” his lips quirked slightly into a smile, remembering how that had seemed to piss the angel off and the sick sense of satisfaction it had given him. 

Jared’s jaw clenched, possessiveness and jealousy, anger and hate for an angel burning hot in his belly. One long leg hooked one of Jensen’s pulling him closer. 

“Look at me, Jen,” Jared muttered softly.

Slowly Jensen lifted his head from Jared’s shoulder, looking down at him, though his eyes didn’t meet Jared’s for long, looking in stead just past his eyes to one side or the other. 

“Jen,” Jared called gently, gaining Jensen’s full attention, lifting his head up as their eyes met and pressing his lips to Jensen’s, lingering there, each breathing into one another’s mouths, eyes closed. “I love you,” Jared whispered against Jensen’s mouth.

Jensen’s tongue darted out to lick his lips, flicking against Jared’s in the process before drawing back, “Love you too,” Jensen answered before swallowing hard, Adam’s apple bobbing, his head leaning in, forehead touching against Jared’s. 

“S’okay, babe,” Jared murmured, to which Jensen nodded before slowly pulling his head back, their eyes slowly opening to gaze at one another with love. 

Jared raised their joined hands, running his thumb across Jensen’s full bottom lip as they continued to simply stare at one another for a long moment. Tearing his gaze away, Jensen dipped his head, pressing his lips first to Jared’s knuckles, then as their joined hands fell away, to the whiskered column of Jared’s throat before he laid his head back down on Jared’s shoulder with a heavy sigh. 

The silence stretched between them for a long while before Jensen finally spoke again minutes later, “He laid me back on a bed after that,” Jensen mumbled, “and I panicked,” he shook his head, “I begged him not to do it, fought him, but he kept threatening you, said he’d turn you inside out while I watched,” 

“Jesus,” Jared gasped softly. 

“In that moment I hated that fucker more than I ever have anyone or anything else, Jay. I wanted to kill him for even suggesting that about you, if he hurt you…” he shook his head. 

“He said that I would learn to love him, that I’d learn to love him even more than I loved you,” he scoffed, “the bastard,” he whispered, swallowing after. 

“That was when he started to do more, touching me,” he shook his head, “I thought maybe I could pretend it was like a movie role, ya know? Make him think I was okay with it, get his mind off hurting you, but I couldn’t, I still fought him, as much as I tried not to, I did. I didn’t want his hands or his mouth on me… at first he made me watch him, look into his eyes, but… after I was able to close my eyes, I finally managed to detach a little bit, I could feel what he was doing to me, but…” he shook his head, “It was like I wasn’t there, ya know?… not totally anyway.”

Jensen remembered how traitorous his body, even his fucking mind had been and his face contorted with bitterness and self-loathing. “But my body responded, as much as I fought it, it did,” he shook his head, “I’m so sorry, Jay,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry.” 

Anger and possessiveness swept through Jared’s body nearly coking him. He pulled his hand free of Jensen’s, nudging his shoulder so Jensen would lift his head, “Look at me, Jensen,” Jared told him, his jaw set, lips pressed in a thin line, nostrils flaring. 

Reaching for Jensen’s face, Jared tilted it upward toward him as he turned his head and Jensen sighed, lifting up to look down at Jared, devastated glittering green meeting hard cat-like hazel, Jared shook his head, “You did nothing wrong, Jen, it wasn’t your fault…” he grit his teeth, muscle in his jaw twitching in anger, “that fucking rat bastard…” he huffed, “you want someone to blame, blame me!” Jared growled, “This is all my fault, if you didn’t feel like you had to protect me… if I’d been able to stop it to begin with…”

Jensen shook his head a sad wistful smile tugging at his lips, “Now you’re letting Sam bleed through, Jare,” Jensen told him softly, “How would you have stopped it, you didn’t know, no one did,”

Jared huffed, “I should have listened to you… went home to Texas instead of skiing, I should have paid better attention to the way Misha looked at you, should have -” he shook his head, “I dunno, done something.”

Jensen dipped his head, pressing his lips against Jared’s briefly in a soft kiss before pulling back, “The Sam moment isn’t necessary, you need to stop berating yourself for things out of your control,” his lips quirked slightly at one corner, “but the whole caveman thing’s kinda nice.”

Jared huffed, narrowing his eyes as he pressed his lips together in a thin line feigning irritation.

Jensen reached for Jared’s hand where it rested, fingertips against his face, taking Jared’s hand within his own before turning his head and pressing his lips against the palm, kissing him softly there. Letting their joined hands fall away to rest against Jared’s chest once more, Jensen returned his attention to Jared’s face, dipping his head to press his lips briefly to Jared’s lips, pulling back and lowering his head, his chin resting against the knuckles of his hand that was joined with Jared’s, looking up at him over his brows. 

Sighing heavily, Jensen lifted his head, his eyes dropping to look down at their hands, “I thought I was gonna make it,” his brows furrowed with anguish, tongue darting out to lick his lips, “not cum, ya know?” He shook his head, “I didn’t want to, didn’t want what was happening. I made it past his orgasm, he came and I didn’t,” he blew out a breath, “but then he - he touched my back,” he shook his head, “I dunno, it felt so good, tingled all through me, I - I guess maybe it was when I changed, when I got my wings,” he dared to glance up at Jared’s face, afraid what he might see there, afraid that Jared would be angry, disgusted, something. 

Seeing nothing but a sympathetic look tinged with pain, Jensen dropped his gaze, “I came,” he whispered regretfully, “I couldn’t help it, Jay, it just… I cursed him, wanted him to die, I hated myself, but none of that mattered, I came anyway.” he added disgustedly through gritted teeth as anger at Missabu, at his own weak and traitorous body seemed to burn even brighter inside him than before. 

A soft whimper escaped Jared’s throat as he gazed down at Jensen, pain for his lover constricting his heart, rage and possessiveness burning in his belly, his grip on Jensen tightening so much that were Jensen still human he probably would be complaining about being squished within his arms, his hand crushed inside Jared’s. 

“He left me after that,” Jensen continued with a disgusted huff, “like I was his whore and once he was finished with me, I was just tossed aside like trash,” he spat bitterly, “he told me that I could do what I wanted as long as I stayed in the realm I was in,” he shook his head, “not that I knew how to get to any other one… I didn’t even realize I had my wings until Castiel told me.”

“Castiel was there?”

Jensen huffed a humorless small laugh and shook his head, glancing up at Jared before dropping his gaze once more, “No, I ran into him after Missabu left me alone and I had cleaned myself off, got dressed and went walking around… I found him at this fountain at the end of the street…” Jensen’s brows furrowed thoughtfully, “he was just sitting there, looking so serene… I was about to turn around and leave when he spoke to me… he ended up telling me how Missabu had screwed up in his little plan, apparently not thinking I would figure out that I could leave Heaven after getting my wings,” his lips curved upward in a small smile, “Cas told me everything I needed to know so that I could come back to you… I just didn’t realize how much time had passed,” he sighed softly, “I’m sorry, Jay, I’m just so sorry.”

Catching Jensen off guard, Jared managed to roll them onto their sides, his hand pulling from Jensen’s to cup the side of his face, thumb tucked under his chin, forcing him to raise his head, to look into Jared’s face, their eyes meeting. 

Jared shook his head, “Nothing to be sorry for, s’not your fault, Jenny,” Jared murmured softly, before sliding his head over, lips pressing against Jensen’s forehead, kissing him softly before pulling back, “m’jus’ glad you’re okay… technically.” 

Jensen huffed softly, “Yeah,” he agreed half-heartedly, lowering his gaze, “but I wasn’t here for you,” he whispered softly.

Jared sighed, brows furrowing in sympathetic pain, lips pressed in a thin line, “I did okay alone.” He offered feebly. 

Jensen’s eyes rose to Jared’s face, “Liar,” he whispered, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips before falling away once more as he searched Jared’s face, glittering green eyes seeing more than Jared was saying.

“God, Jay,” Jensen gasped softly, “you’re parents don’t even call?”

Jared sighed softly, his eyes lowering as he shrugged a shoulder, “Sometimes,” he mumbled before glancing up at Jensen, “s’ hard for ‘em, ya know? Everyone said I was crazy and they,” he licked his lips, “they treated me like I was, talked to me like I was a child or something,” he shook his head, lips pressed firmly together, nostrils flaring, “it was better that they didn’t call, I could pretend it wasn’t happening, that they didn’t see me as some nut case like everyone else.”

Grief filled green eyes searched Jared’s face before Jensen shook his head, “Oh Jared…” he breathed softly, reaching up to cup Jared’s face and lean in, slanting his mouth over Jared’s, kissing him tenderly, tongue licking it’s way inside his mouth and tickling along the roof before tangling with Jared’s own. 

Jared moaned softly into the kiss, his hand moving from Jensen’s face to side back, fingers threading through the short strands of his hair before cupping the back of his head, his hand of Jared’s arm that was trapped between Jensen’s body and the floor splayed against his back, fingertips digging into Jensen’s flesh as he held onto him tightly, his long legs moving to tangle with Jensen’s slightly shorter bowed ones. 

Sucking Jared’s bottom lip gently, Jensen slowly ended the kiss, emerald eyes searching his face, “I hate to think of you that alone, baby,” Jensen murmured softly, thumb running over Jared’s whiskered cheek. 

“I jus’ missed you,” Jared replied softly, “jus’ you.” 

Jensen drew in a breath and shook his head slowly before licking his lips, “What,” he gave a pained frown, “what about Danneel? Did she, does she ever-?” he shrugged a shoulder, “You two were friends, it was one of the reasons why we chose her for…” he gave a nod, “you know.” 

Jared exhaled heavily, his eyes closing a moment before opening once more and nodding, “Yeah, I know,” he muttered low, “She, um,” he cleared his throat and shook his head, “I haven’t seen her since the funeral, I saw on E! Entertainment that she got remarried a couple years ago to some Hollywood producer,” he shrugged a shoulder, “she sends Christmas cards every year, but that’s all.” his lips quirked into a slight sad smile. 

Jensen shook his head disgustedly at the way everyone had treated Jared and lowered his eyes, “What about the kids?” he asked softly, eyes darting back up to meet Jared’s, knowing this was the question that would likely hurt him the most, “when did you lose them, baby?”

Jared’s lips quirked downward before he swallowed hard, eyes filling with unshed tears as he drew in a deep breath swallowing back his emotions, “Last summer,” he answered softly with a shrug of one shoulder in an attempt to hide his pain.

Jensen’s glittering jade eyes searched Jared’s, reading only what an angel could within their tormented depths. 

“You moved out here right after Gen left you… two years ago. The kids were getting sick on and off then, but they seemed to get better, did okay for a little over a year… it was last summer that you lost them, within a month of each other.” Jensen murmured, shaking his head in stunned bewilderment. 

Tears slipped down Jared’s cheeks as he lay listening to Jensen speak about the horrible heartbreak he’d suffered. He sniffled softly, “Yeah,” he nodded, “after they started saying I was crazy and the work stopped, I only stayed in town for her, once she was gone,” he shook his head, “I sold the house and moved out here… the sea air seemed to be good for Sadie and Harley, we were happy,” he shrugged a shoulder, “more or less, for a while… it was after I lost them that I totally stopped caring,” he glanced down at himself before looking back at Jensen, “I guess… in a way, I kind of wanted to go too.” 

Jensen gazed into Jared’s eyes and shook his head slowly, devastated at what had happened to his Jared, at what had happened to the man he had left behind for only an hour to him, and yet for Jared for ten long years. It shouldn’t surprise him though really, Jared had always been a people person, needing to be surrounded by others, in the presence of people whether he were the center of attention or not, Jared seemed to flourish, it only stood to reason that without company, without people around him, that Jared would slowly dwindle away and slowly die, in one form or another. 

Pulling his hand from where it had come to rest half tangled in Jared’s disheveled hair, Jensen wrapped his arm around Jared, pulling him in closer, hugging him tight enough that Jared choked on a breath and Jensen had to remember to be gentle, loosening his grip slightly, “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry for what happened to you, for what my leaving did,” he pulled his head back, looking into Jared’s face, shaking his head, “I swear to you, I will never leave you again, not ever,” he drew Jared closer once more, “You’re never gonna be alone again, baby, I promise.” 

Jared turned and dipped his head, face tucked against Jensen’s neck, his tears wetting the sensitive flesh as he breathed in Jensen’s scent, eyes slipping closed, a sense of peace enveloping him for the first time in ten years. 

Jensen turned his head, lips pressing against Jared’s temple, “I love you,” Jensen murmured softly. 

“Mmmm…” Jared hummed contently, “I love you too,” he mumbled against Jensen’s neck. 

Jensen’s lips quirked slightly, “Austin’s a good dog,” he muttered with a soft chuckle causing Jared to pull his head back, looking into his face. 

Jared stiffened in Jensen’s arms, “You know about Austin?” 

Jensen gave a small nod, his hand running up and down Jared’s back comfortingly, “We… met,” he gave a slight shrug of one shoulder, “outside earlier, before you come up to bed. He, uh, likes to play catch it seems.” 

Austin had tried to engage Jensen in a game of fetch the entire time he had been outside, only giving up when Jensen had used his angelic ability to send the dog away from him, afraid that Austin would give him away before he was ready to let Jared know he was there. 

Jared’s brows furrowed, “What? Wait - you were here then?” he shook his head, “I didn’t see you - I…” 

Jensen shook his head, “No, you wouldn’t have, I was,” he sighed, brow furrowing in a frown, “I was trying to decide if I should see you, if you were better off without me, If -” he licked his lips, “I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had, so I watched you earlier and waited until after you were asleep before coming in.” 

“And you thought that not letting me know you were here, that you were alive, that I wasn’t crazy might be a good idea?” Jared asked incredulously. 

Jensen sighed, shaking his head, “I didn’t know about all that, all I knew was that you had moved, and what I had seen when you came to the back door letting Austin out. I was - I was afraid of making things worse for you,” he searched Jared’s face, “but even as I thought about it, I already knew the answer, knew that I couldn’t go without seeing you… as selfish as that might have been.” 

Jared relaxed in Jensen’s embrace once more, “I got Austin just three months ago, “ he mumbled softly, shaking his head, “I couldn’t make it being totally alone, I missed Sadie and Harley… and with no one else in my life, I just… I had to get him.” 

Jensen nodded, “I’m glad you did, he seems like a good dog.”

Jared gave a nod, “He is… loving, strong. He’s a good guard dog.” 

Jensen’s lips quirked, “Sounds like someone else I know.” 

Jared scoffed, glancing down at the length of his body before returning his gaze to Jensen’s face, a soft blush staining his cheeks, “Not so much anymore.” 

“Still beautiful to me,” Jensen whispered, leaning in to claim Jared’s lips with his own, kissing him slow, worshipfully. 

The kiss continued on longer than either had expected it to, growing from soft and loving, filled with longing and promises of tomorrows and forever to a deeper one of heat and desire, passion and need, where teeth clanked together as they devoured one another’s mouths, moans and soft groans sounding deep in their throats. 

Hands slid along one another’s bodies, tugging each other closer before sliding up under t-shirts, inching the soft cotton upward, hands sliding along the smooth flesh of their sides. 

Jensen’s hand slid higher along Jared’s body around to his chest, thumb brushing over a nipple, fingers tangling in the soft fine hairs on Jared’s chest.

Jared’s hand slid up Jensen’s body, sliding over his chest, short blunt nailed fingertips clawing across a nipple, causing Jensen to cringe back, his lips tearing from Jared’s, breaths panting out as he stared wide eyed into Jared’s face, memories of Missabu’s touch making him feel too unclean, unworthy of Jared’s touches. 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Jared asked, breaths panting out as he searched Jensen’s face. 

Jensen shook his head, “Nothing, I just… before just… I don’t think I can…”

Jared’s brow knitted in confusion before he shook his head, “Don’t you want…” he bit his lip, glancing down at himself, wishing he’d worn a hoodie to bed so he could hide in it now. 

“What?” Jensen asked, glancing down to where Jared had looked before raising his gaze back to Jared’s face, shaking his head, “No, not that, not you - I…”

Jared licked his lips, eyes widening as he thought he understood, “You,” he glanced toward the adjoining bathroom and back at Jensen, “you wanna take a shower?” 

Tearing his gaze from Jared’s face, Jensen looked toward the bathroom and back to Jared, giving a nod as he swallowed, “Yeah… do you mind?” 

Jared shook his head, “No,” he answered, offering a soft smile, “of course not,” he slowly started to pull from Jensen’s embrace, “come on, I’ll set you up.” 

* * * * * * * 

Standing in Jared’s bathroom, after Jared had gotten use to the glare of the bright bathroom lights, he had gotten Jensen a towel out of the large linen closet inside the bathroom, then went to the glassed walk-in shower and turned on the hot water, letting it warm up.

Jensen stood in the center of the room, watching as Jared walked back and forth between the linen closet and the shower, before turning to face him, a small tentative smile on his face as he stepped closer, taking Jensen’s hands in his own, “I know this is kinda weird and probably not a very good host of me… but I don’t want to leave,” he licked his lips, thumbs rubbing over the backs of Jensen’s hands, “I guess,” he paused and sighed, hanging his head a moment before looking up again, “I guess I’m scared that if I do, you might not be here when I come back.” Jared explained, the look of terror in his eyes matching the way his hands trembled within Jensen’s. 

Jensen shook his head, slipping one hand from Jared’s to cup Jared’s cheek, “Not goin’ anywhere, baby, I swear it.” He said softly.

“But what if Missabu comes back to get you while I’m gone?” Jared asked, gripping Jensen’s hip with his free hand. He shook his head, “It’s pathetic, I know, but,” he shook his head, “I can’t go, I _need_ to be here,” he said, his wide sad eyes pleasing with Jensen to understand.

Jensen nodded, “It’s okay, stay, it’s fine,” he licked his lips, his hand slipping back to cup Jared’s neck firmly, “but know that I would fight every angel in Heaven if I had to in order to stay with you.”

Jared stared into Jensen’s eyes a long moment before his lips quirked just slightly in a wry smile, “That was _so_ Dean.” 

Jensen playfully shoved at Jared, a grin pulling at the corner of his own lips as he released him, pulling his opposite hand from Jared‘s “Shut up,” he mumbled, turning his attention to the shower to add cold water to the spray and check the temperature. 

Jared smiled as he watched Jensen, slowly backing up to take a seat on the closet toilet seat, leaning an arm on the counter top. 

Once the water temperature was where he wanted it, Jensen reached for the hem of his tee, pulling it up and over his head, dropping it down onto the floor before toeing off his boots and reaching for the fastenings of his jeans. Glancing over at Jared, Jensen smiled, “You okay over there?” 

Jared gave a small nod, returning the smile, though it didn’t really reach his eyes, his mind and emotions in turmoil as he watched Jensen. Jensen who hadn’t changed a bit, smooth skin, muscled and toned, softly sun-kissed, all in high contrast with his own body that he had stopped taking care of since everything had gone to hell for him. It had started small, his workouts getting shorter, then he’d stopped them all together a few years ago, of course he didn’t eat well anymore, going from four large meals a day down to one meal where he only picked at his food, so his body had began to revert to the lanky form that it had been, his height once again nearly over powering his frame. 

Jensen would never change, he would always look exactly the same as he did now and yet his own body would age, grow old and wrinkle, gravity becoming his enemy as well as his own body when parts of him stopped working with age… and there would be Jensen, the picture of health and as young as he had been the day he disappeared from his hospital room. 

How would they deal with that? How could Jensen want to be with an old man? 

Jensen unfastened his jeans pushing them and his boxers down, stepping out of them and into the shower, closing the shower door behind him. 

Jared couldn’t help the lust that surged though him as he watched Jensen, stronger than ever before, which was almost crazy, he didn’t think it could get any hotter between them that it already was, yet even as he sat there worrying, his cock twitched under the cotton of his boxers as he stared at Jensen nearly transfixed by his beauty. 

How could he ever be good enough for Jensen? He glanced down at himself, especially now.

Standing to his feet, Jared moved to stand at the sink and opened the medicine cabinet, reaching inside for the shaving cream and a razor, he needed to put in an effort again if he ever expected to hold onto Jensen, of that he was certain. 

* * * * * * * 

Hanging his head, Jensen stood under the warm water’s spray; having washed his hair and body, he now simply allowing the water to wash over him and sooth his body. It was the sound of the showers door opening behind him that had Jensen’s head snapping up as he turned around, eyes wide with trepidation, the fear that maybe Jared was right, that Missabu had found him, causing his heart to pound within his chest. 

Jensen sighed in relief seeing Jared step into the show and close the door behind him, a look of apprehension on his face, “Is this okay?” 

Jensen nodded, forcing a smile, “Yeah, of course,” he answer, glittering green eyes roaming over Jared’s face and naked body, noting that Jared had shaved off his beard and chest hair.

His chest was still seemed to be wider than it had been when he had first met Jared, though the rippling muscles were gone. His once washboard stomach was now soft though still flat, nearly with a slight concave to it from lack of eating well. He could see the arch of ribs gently outlined against the flesh of his once muscled sides. 

“That bad, huh?” Jared asked softly, causing Jensen’s eyes to dart upward, meeting Jared’s forlorn ones before he shook his head. 

“No,” Jensen smiled bashfully, aware that Jared had caught him staring, “of course not. You’re always beautiful to me,” Jensen said, reaching a hand out for Jared to take, pulling him over to him and wrapping his arms around Jared’s naked body, looking slightly up into his face, “You shaved.”

Jared nodded, “I - I didn’t have much of a reason to before… now I do.”

Jensen’s lips quirked, “You didn’t have to,” he bit his lip as glittering eyes searched Jared’s face, “need I remind you of that Aussie Con? You were pretty hairy then too, we both were, didn’t stop us one bit.” He grinned. 

Jared smiled, though his eyes held a sadness, _I looked better then too_ he shrugged a shoulder, “I remember, but, I wanted to do it for you.” 

Jensen nodded, lips pressed together, very aware of how self-conscious Jared was about his body again, it was all very reminiscent of when he had first met Jared; though even then it wasn’t as pronounced as he had heard from Jared’s own lips that it had been before that when he had hidden himself away in hoodies nearly single every day. 

Without another word, Jensen leaned in, kissing a trail along the now smooth column of Jared’s throat and along his jaw, breathing in the woody and citrus scent of shaving cream as he kissed a slow path toward his lips, “Mm, yeah,” he breathed hotly, “good idea,” he murmured before slanting his mouth over Jared’s. 

Tongues tangled as hands moved over wet skin and up into wet, damp hair, fingers threading through the strands before pulling back out and slipping lower. Heads slid from side to side, low moans and soft grunted groans tumbling from their lips, each stagger stepping forward and back until Jared’s back finally made contact with the wall. 

Jensen tore his lips from Jared’s their hot breaths panting out, fanning one another’s passion flushed cheeks, eyes locked, arms wrapped around one another, Jensen’s hands cupping Jared’s ass, pressing him up against Jensen. 

“I should,” Jared panted, “I should wash,” he said, though he continued to cling to Jensen. 

Jensen nodded, “Yeah,” he panted out a breath, swallowing hard after, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, “okay,” he agreed although he too remained as he was. 

Jensen leaned in, lips against Jared’s neck, licking across tender flesh before biting and sucking the skin into his mouth hard enough to bruise, to mark what was his, eliciting a gasped groan from Jared. 

Lifting his head, Jensen smirked at his handy work, “Marked you.”

Jared nodded then shook his head, “I don’ care,” he panted, writhing in Jensen’s arms as he leaned in, slanting his mouth over Jensen’s, a whimpered moan leaving him as he licked his way inside Jensen’s mouth, tangling their tongues together. 

Pulling one hand from Jared’s ass, Jensen reached between them, wrapping his hand around Jared’s hard cock and begin stroking his length, eliciting a gasp from Jared against his lips before he tore his mouth away from Jensen’s breaths panting out hard, hips thrusting his aching cock into Jensen’s hand, “Oh God, Jen…” Jared sighed, eyes slipping closed as his head lolled back. 

Jensen’s lips quirked in a small cocky grin, “Uh-uh, you said you needed to wash,” Jensen murmured, watching Jared lift his head, eyes opening to passion glazed slits, “so wash.” 

A low whimper tore from Jared’s throat as he gazed into Jensen’s glittering eyes before looking over toward the soap dish, tongue darting out to lick his lips, his hips moving, thrusting his dick into Jensen’s fisted hand, “Jen, I -” he bit his lips stifling his protests and pulled a hand from around Jensen to reach for the soap bottle and loofah sponge. 

“Wash me?”

Jensen’s lips twitched, “You think that’s gonna save you?” He asked with an impish grin, brow quirking as he released Jared’s ass and cock, reaching for the soap and sponge that Jared offered him, “I think it’s gonna make it worse.” 

Jared ‘heh-ed’ a chuckled breath, releasing Jensen to brace one hand against the tiled shower wall, “I’ll chance it.” 

Jensen lingered over every area of Jared’s body that he washed, sometimes kissing his way across the skin before scrubbing it clean with the soft sponge, other times simply lingering with the sponge teasingly, until Jared would squirm and gasp, head lolling forward or back. 

Reaching Jared’s cock, Jensen washed exceedingly slow, wrapping the sponge around Jared’s hard length, his hand over that, stroking him slowly from root to tip and pivoting his wrist as he stared into Jared’s eyes, leaning in so their lips were inches apart, pulling his head back each time Jared tried for a kiss, though his hand remained teasing his cock then his balls and sliding back to wash his ass, parting his cheeks, and purposefully letting his fingertips brush over Jared’s hole. 

By the time he had finished, Jared’s chest heaved with his panted breaths, his cock hard and throbbing with precum pearling at the tip, eyes lowered to mere slits of unfocused hazel with lust blown pupils, lips softly parted, his face flushed. 

“All clean,” Jensen announced softly, gaining an answering deep groan from Jared, his tongue darting out to lick across his lips. 

“I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but,” Jared started, only to pause, nostrils flaring with his heavy breaths as he swallowed. 

“Yeah?” Jensen quirked a brow.

“I need to wash my hair.” 

With a nearly wicked soft chuckle Jensen gave a nod, “Go ahead, I’ll wait.” 

Jared eyed Jensen a long moment, wondering if he had just signed his own undoing. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone other than his own fist and this wasn’t just anyone, it was Jensen. He fully expected not to last very long and even shorter than that if Jensen kept teasing and playing with him. 

Swallowing hard, Jared gave a small nod, reaching for the shampoo, pouring some into a palm as he kept a watchful eye on Jensen, though only stood, the picture of innocence and watched him.

He didn’t pull his gaze from Jensen as he lathered his hair or scrubbed it with his fingertips, only once he had to rinse, did he take a step back directly under the water’s spray and tilt his head back, closing his eyes, both hands raised to his head, rising the soap from the thick strands. 

Jensen waited to make his move when Jared was completely occupied, only stood watching him until then, but now he stepped forward, wrapping his hand around Jared’s cock, stroking him, thumb ghosting over the tip. 

Jared gasped a soft breath, hips bucking his cock into Jensen’s hand, his head tilting forward slightly as his eyes opened to slits, peering at Jensen a moment before sliding closed once more, that was when Jensen took a step back and let his knees go slack, dipping his head and bending at the waist, taking Jared’s dick deep into his mouth. 

Jared gasped and choked on water that he sucked into his lungs quickly lifting his head, eyes popping open, blinking against the water that ran into them, cock pulsing and twitching in Jensen’s mouth, one hand lowing to the back of Jensen’s head, fingers threading into the short wet strands. 

“Oh fuck, Jen…” Jared panted, a soft low whimper tearing from his throat. 

Running his opposite hand quickly over his hair to be sure the soap was gone, Jared let his hand drop to Jensen’s shoulder, hips thrusting his cock into the warm wetness Jensen’s mouth as he sucked him and stroked his length, his fisted hand chasing after his mouth. 

“Oh God…” Jared groaned softly, stagger stepping backward until his back hit the tiled wall, Jensen moving with him, not missing a stroke or breaking suction. 

His head rolled against the tile, gulping in breaths through parted lips, eyes closing and opening, “Jen, please… please…” Jared whined breathlessly.

Jensen slowly pulled his head back, letting Jared’s dick spring free from between his lips before he looked up into Jared’s face, lips a deep red and softly parted, “S’a matter?”

Pulling his head up, Jared looked at Jensen and swallowed hard, “Bed,” he suggested with a nod, hoping it would give him time to cool down a little or this was going to be over before it began, “let’s move to the bed.” 

* * * * * * * 

After having shut off the water, they’d each grabbed a towel and dried off, though neither were very good at keeping their hands to themselves, or their lips for that matter and the trip back into the bedroom consisted of bouncing off walls as they kissed and ran their hands over one another’s bare bodies only to nearly tumble into the bed once they reached it. 

They now lay tangled together on their sides, the sheet and blankets pulled back (including the one they had used on the floor, that they had tossed up onto the bed as they rose to their feet to go to the shower), arms wrapped around one another, legs entwined along with their tongues as they kissed. 

Tearing his lips away from Jared’s only when they needed to take in air, Jensen rolled Jared onto his back and began kissing a slow path down his body. 

“Jen, I -” Jared mumbled, one hand rising to lay splayed across the middle of his torso between stomach and chest. 

“Shh,” Jensen shushed him sternly before shoving his hand out of the way, “beautiful,” he insisted against Jared’s flesh as he continued to work his way down, tongue circling the flat disc of a nipple before he sucked it into his mouth, nipping at the swelling bud before releasing and making his way across to repeat the process on its twin.

Jared stained up against him, back arching, soft gasps and moans tumbling from his parted lips, hands fisting in the soft flannel sheets beneath them, cock twitching.

After licking across the hardened nub of Jared’s nipple, Jensen moved lower, down his soft trim belly and across narrow hips, downward through his soft coarse chestnut hued pubic hair, to licking up the underside of Jared’s cock from base to tip, tongue swirling around the crown. 

Jared gasped, hips bucking, cock twitching, “God, Jen…” he breathed softly, head rolling to the side. 

Kneeling between Jared’s spread legs, Jensen’s eyes darted up, looking at Jared from under his brows, a saucy smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he moved a hand, wrapping it around Jared’s cock and dipped his head, lips parting to take Jared’s dick deep into his mouth, letting the tip bottom out against the back of his throat and swallowing his length. 

Jared grit his teeth, hissing in a breath, writhing, head rolling to the opposite side as he released the sheets with one hand, lifting it to lay gently on the back of Jensen’s head, his breaths panting out from between parted lips, “Jen… oh God…” he whispered breathlessly. 

Pulling his head slowly back, Jensen hummed as he sucked Jared’s cock, fisted hand pumping his shaft in time with the movement of his mouth up and down his hard length. 

Jared’s breathing grew heavier, neck arching back, his hand curling into a fist in the short strands of Jensen’s hair, hips thrusting his cock harder, faster into Jensen’s mouth, “Oh God, Jen…” he nearly whined breathlessly, head rolling jerkily against the pillows, muscles tensing. 

Jensen continued to work Jared, wrist pivoting as he sucked hard, moving faster along his length, cheeks hollowing out, humming, his fisted hand following after his mouth, free hand lowering to cup Jared’s balls and squeeze gently, short blunt nails clawing carefully up the underside of his sac. 

Jared gasped and writhed, mewls and grunted groans tearing from his throat as he strained, muscles tensed, face flushed, neck arched back, heat pooling low in his groin. 

“Jen,” Jared pushed at Jensen gently, “Stop… you gotta stop…” 

“Mm-mm,” Jensen answered, shaking his head slightly as he continued to work Jared’s cock, sucking hard and stroking his length with long hard pulls. 

“Jen, stop please…” Jared insisted, releasing the sheets with his opposite hand to push at Jensen desperately with both, “S’ too soon, please… Oh God…” Jared’s hips bucked upward, thrusting his cock into Jensen’s mouth, dick pulsing, throbbing with the want to cum. 

Releasing his hold on Jared’s balls and cock, Jensen reached up, gripping his wrists. Pinning Jared’s arms against the mattress at his sides, Jensen continued to suck his dick, mouth moving along his length as he hummed and flicked his tongue along the underside of his shaft. 

Jared gulped in breaths through parted lips, struggling to pulls his arms from Jensen’s grip, though his angel strength made the task impossible. His body strained writhing and thrashing, muscles tensed, nipples pebbling, he clenched his teeth, nostrils flaring with his panted breaths, eyes squeezing tightly closed, balls drawing up tightly to his body, “J-Jen… Mm, gonna cum…” he ground out breathlessly before his back arched, a growl tearing from his throat behind gritted teeth, head tilting back as the first ribbon of spunk shot down Jensen’s throat. 

Jensen continued to suck Jared’s cock, swallowing down every drop of spunk Jared gave him. Slowly releasing one of Jared’s wrists, Jensen wrapped his hand back around Jared’s shaft, helping to work him through his orgasm. 

Jared’s hands had gripped the sheets just before he came and now slowly eased their white knuckled hold, body relaxing as his orgasm wound down, eyes opening to look down his body at Jensen just as he pulled his head back, letting Jared’s mostly limp cock fall from between his lips to smile up at him as he crawled up his body. 

“So hot, Jay,” Jensen said, shaking his head, awe in his voice. 

Jared frowned up at him as he fought to catch his breath, brows furrowed, “Why did you,” he licked his lips, dropping his gaze a moment before looking back into Jensen’s face, “I didn’t want to cum yet, I was hoping we could make love, I -”

Jensen silenced further argument with a kiss, slowly pulling back to smile down at Jared, “I know, me too, I just figured,” he shrugged a shoulder, licking his lips. 

How did you say that you wanted to get the easy one out of the way so that this would last longer than through one thrust?

“I wanted to do it, wanted to make you feel good,” he shook his head, “we’re not done.”

Jared sighed a soft relieved breath and swallowed, “’Kay,” he nodded.


End file.
